Response: Hello Amanda, Your sister is definitely placing both you and her children in difficult positions. Is there a neutral party that might talk with her, such as another sister or an aunt? This should be someone who can approach her tactfully without accusing her and ask how things are going and feel out her thoughts and issues.
If you cant find anyone to talk with her, you may need to go forward with your planning and let the chips fall where they may. If she doesnt follow through and you are short 2 bridesmaids, a flower girl and a ring bearer, that will be your sisters problem. If the children are hurt, it will be by their mothers actions, not yours. I wouldnt attempt to replace the children. It is okay to have unequal numbers of groomsmen and bridesmaids and you dont want to make the situation worse.
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