Response: Hi Kathy, Properly, the brides mother should choose her dress first and then let you know what she chose so you can coordinate. Since she doesnt want to do that, then you should let her know what you choose. If the bridesmaids wear short skirts, you should as well. If they wear long ones, then you can wear long or short, though you will probably be in photos with the brides parents, so it is more uniform looking if both moms wear the same length.
It is fine to wear a black dress when the bridesmaids wear black as long as your dress is cut differently than the bridesmaids dresses. If the wedding is not a formal evening event, however, you will want to avoid looking over dressed, which could happen with a long black dress.
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