Response: I am sorry to hear about your situation. It seems that there may be different expectations on the part of the mothers. I assume that you are the groom and your fiancee is the bride and it is her mother that is not responding to your mother. It is possible that your future MIL feels as if she is the one who should be helping her daughter and she may feel threatened by your mother, particularly if MIL is from a small town and sees your mother as the more sophisticated city lady. Not to say that is right, but it often occurs.
Has your mother considered hosting a shower in your home town for your relatives rather than expecting everyone to travel to the shower in the MILs city? Showers are not usually hosted by the mothers, but the exception is when the two families live in different areas and the grooms mother uses the shower as an opportunity to introduce the bride to the grooms family and friends.
Since the MIL is not being helpful with rehearsal dinner ideas, can the bride offer recommendations or does she have a sister, aunt or another relative that would offer ideas?
Can you talk to your mother about your concerns and ask her to be on her best behavior while at the wedding? If she knows how important it is for her to be gracious and not create problems, she may be willing to set her feelings aside and make the wedding as enjoyable as possible. You might also ask your fiancee to talk with her mother and let her know that she has offended your mother and ask her to also be gracious. Best of luck to both of you.
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